Today has been an interesting day. We started off the day with no power, so the boys woke up very early due to the fact that their fans weren't blowing in their room and they were really warm. We've been potty training Gabe this week, and he's been getting better and better every day. He woke up with a dry diaper this morning, which was pretty exciting! He had just a couple of little accidents on his way to the potty, but it was just because he didn't make it in time. For the most part, everything has gone in the potty for the past two days. So that was really great!
I think, however, that the early rise left both of the boys feeling a bit cranky. Ladan in particular was talking back quite a bit and just kind of being rude in general. We had several discussions about it throughout the morning. However, by the time early afternoon rolled around, he was NOT responding well to anyone or anything. I asked him to go sit on my bed and wait for me to come talk to him. Chet was in our room working on church stuff (his office area is in our bedroom), so he would be the one to administer correction. But I had to tell him what happened. So I started recounting with Ladan the things I was noticing about the way he was handling situations. He was listening pretty intently.
He then said, "Mom, I want to say, 'Sorry.'" I let him know that he could definitely do that but that he would still have to have discipline. He responded, "But discipline is..." (he usually inserts the word "mean" in this spot). Before he could finish, I interjected that the Bible describes that we will discipline our children if we LOVE them and that it's not mean because we are responsible to God for training Ladan and teaching him. Here's how the rest of our dialogue went.
Ladan: "Because I need to be transformed."
Me: "What do you mean by that?"
Ladan: "I need to be transformed and change from a person who sins against God into a man who loves God and obeys God. So I have to have discipline."
And that's when Chet took over. He called Ladan to his lap, and Ladan went without an argument... almost as if he was somehow seeing the value of what we were saying even though he knew that what was coming wasn't going to be completely enjoyable. They talked for quite a few minutes before and after Ladan received his discipline. I don't know how their discussion went, but at the end of it all, Ladan promptly came down the stairs and gave me a big hug and said he was sorry for disobeying. He said, "I love you, Mom," and then walked over to play with some toys while I prepared our lunch. Back to life as usual.
Both boys are napping now with the hope that they'll wake up ready to interact with the world around them in a more reasonable fashion.
It's so great to hear the things that Ladan is saying these days! And I'm SO THANKFUL we don't have to send him to childcare all day, because it means that we're the ones who get to hear him say all these cool things. What a blessing this time is with our kids! It's hard some days for sure, and it definitely takes discipline on our parts to maintain any form of consistency. But the Lord is faithful to help us.
Just recently, one of our friends said that his dad talks about raising children and says, "We did the best we could. It's not like you guys came with an instruction manual." Our friend's response to that is to be thankful that his parents did their best... but he doesn't agree with the part about the instruction manual. He's right on! What a gift the Word of God is to us as parents!
Friday, June 26, 2009
Friday, June 5, 2009
Happy Birthday to Daniel Bonura!
Ladan was pretty much hilarious tonight! He doesn't always take a nap, but he slept long and hard this afternoon, and as a result, he was SO FUN!
We decided to go ahead and attempt to bunk the boys' beds tonight to see how Gabe responds. My main concern with doing it right as he was learning to stay in his own bed was that it would be even harder for him to obey and that it would possibly be more dangerous for him. He's a daredevil, so I don't think this was overly cautious. Anyway, he's not perfect at staying in his bed all the time, but he's loads better than he was 10 weeks ago. So we went for it.
Ladan is SO EXCITED that he gets to sleep on the top bunk again! He had been sleeping on the top bunk in Louisville for quite a while, and he was ready to get back to it.
Well, after moving the beds around, vacuuming their room, and picking things up, it was pretty warm in there. So we opened the window. The screen from the boys' room had fallen out in a wind storm before we moved in and suffered a small tear in the process. So we haven't put it back up yet. Which means that we very rarely open the window at this point, and it's only for a few minutes while we're in there. This was actually the first time the boys were in the room while the window was open to even notice that they could stick their arms and heads out. Don't worry... we were standing right there.
Ladan had a blast hanging his head out the window. At one point he shouted, "This is fun to have a new home!!!" And then he started giving the "sound your horn" signal (the one you give truck drivers if you want them to sound their horns) and shouting, "Whoo, whoo!" to every car that drove by. And then it got better! Ladan's good friend, Daniel, turned five today. Ladan didn't have a chance to call him to tell him happy birthday, so he decided he'd scream it out the window. He was yelling, "DANIEL BONURA! WHERE ARE YOU? HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DANIEL BONURA!" Keep in mind that it was about 10pm, and my previously super-shy four-year-old son was hanging his head out the window yelling all of this at the top of his lungs. It was GREAT!
So, happy birthday Daniel! Hope you had a great day!
We decided to go ahead and attempt to bunk the boys' beds tonight to see how Gabe responds. My main concern with doing it right as he was learning to stay in his own bed was that it would be even harder for him to obey and that it would possibly be more dangerous for him. He's a daredevil, so I don't think this was overly cautious. Anyway, he's not perfect at staying in his bed all the time, but he's loads better than he was 10 weeks ago. So we went for it.
Ladan is SO EXCITED that he gets to sleep on the top bunk again! He had been sleeping on the top bunk in Louisville for quite a while, and he was ready to get back to it.
Well, after moving the beds around, vacuuming their room, and picking things up, it was pretty warm in there. So we opened the window. The screen from the boys' room had fallen out in a wind storm before we moved in and suffered a small tear in the process. So we haven't put it back up yet. Which means that we very rarely open the window at this point, and it's only for a few minutes while we're in there. This was actually the first time the boys were in the room while the window was open to even notice that they could stick their arms and heads out. Don't worry... we were standing right there.
Ladan had a blast hanging his head out the window. At one point he shouted, "This is fun to have a new home!!!" And then he started giving the "sound your horn" signal (the one you give truck drivers if you want them to sound their horns) and shouting, "Whoo, whoo!" to every car that drove by. And then it got better! Ladan's good friend, Daniel, turned five today. Ladan didn't have a chance to call him to tell him happy birthday, so he decided he'd scream it out the window. He was yelling, "DANIEL BONURA! WHERE ARE YOU? HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DANIEL BONURA!" Keep in mind that it was about 10pm, and my previously super-shy four-year-old son was hanging his head out the window yelling all of this at the top of his lungs. It was GREAT!
So, happy birthday Daniel! Hope you had a great day!
Friday, May 29, 2009
Claire Ellise
Below is a copy of an e-mail I sent out to some folks tonight to provide an update on Baby Claire after today's ultrasound. When we had our first ultrasound in mid-April, the only "issue" was that she has an echogenic foci (described below). They were checking today to see if it was gone yet and just to check to see that everything's still in good order otherwise. So here's the update...
I am 28 weeks and 6 days pregnant today. Claire weighs 2 pounds 14 ounces, which is right about average. She has hair on her head (we'll see if she keeps that or if it falls out and refrains from growing back for a year and a half like her brothers' hair). She does still have the echogenic foci, which shows up as a tiny shiny fleck in her heart on the ultrasound. About 1% or less of babies who still have this during the second trimester end up having Down's syndrome, which is really the only possible connected condition to the echogenic foci. So far, there are no other indicators that she has Down's, and the doctor today didn't even mention it. When he said, "Her heart looks good," I asked him if the foci was gone (because I was pretty sure I saw it about 5 different times during the ultrasound). He said, "Oh, well, there is a note here that it's still present, but there's almost no chance that it will turn into anything. We'll just let the pediatrician know, and that's about it." So, of course, we're not making assumptions that she's perfectly healthy with absolutely nothing to think about, but there's really no reason to research anything further at this point. We'll see what happens when she comes out.
There is one other issue to consider.... She probably actually has a greater chance of being born with whiplash than Down's syndrome! Today during the ultrasound, the tech was trying to get a 3-D image of her face, and she kept turning her back on us. I pushed up on my belly from the underside three times, and what we saw on the screen was HILARIOUS! Her head was thrown back and forth three times just like she had just been through a car wreck and they were replaying it in slow motion over and over again. She looked like a crash test dummy! We all cracked up laughing! I wish we had it on video! Praise God for allowing these babies to grow in a safe environment where they're protected from crazy moms! :)
Anyway, she's growing well, everything looks normal (even the echogenic foci is often considered a "normal" condition in that it shows up fairly regularly in healthy babies), there's just the right amount of amniotic fluid in there with her which is a sign of a healthy baby, and she's moving around plenty! At one point, she yawned really big, which was pretty funny. I started thinking though. Isn't it crazy how God designs for babies to develop in this strange fluid, breathing it in, swallowing it, and moving around in it... and if they come out too early, they can't breathe air well and will die? And then, once they're done developing, something happens. They're born, and as soon as they come out, they need to be cleared of all the fluid immediately, because if they're not breathing air, they'll die. In an instant, their means of survival changes to something so completely opposite. It's just wild!
I've included a couple of the ultrasound photos. Her cord was floating in front of her face, so we couldn't get a complete 3-D shot of her face... but there's definitely enough that you can see her pretty well. Keep in mind, of course, that things are a little bit distorted because of the fluid she's living in and because she's still got a lot of skin to grow into, so she's not likely to actually come out with a wrinkled face and droopy cheeks!
I have a whole list of things that I'm wanting to write updates about, but for now I'm going to call it a night. I'm planning to wake up "early" (which for me will be about 7am) to go to a used homeschooling book sale tomorrow. I've identified the curriculum I'd like to use with Ladan this next year, and I'm hoping I can find a good deal on at least a couple of the items. We'll see how it goes!
I am 28 weeks and 6 days pregnant today. Claire weighs 2 pounds 14 ounces, which is right about average. She has hair on her head (we'll see if she keeps that or if it falls out and refrains from growing back for a year and a half like her brothers' hair). She does still have the echogenic foci, which shows up as a tiny shiny fleck in her heart on the ultrasound. About 1% or less of babies who still have this during the second trimester end up having Down's syndrome, which is really the only possible connected condition to the echogenic foci. So far, there are no other indicators that she has Down's, and the doctor today didn't even mention it. When he said, "Her heart looks good," I asked him if the foci was gone (because I was pretty sure I saw it about 5 different times during the ultrasound). He said, "Oh, well, there is a note here that it's still present, but there's almost no chance that it will turn into anything. We'll just let the pediatrician know, and that's about it." So, of course, we're not making assumptions that she's perfectly healthy with absolutely nothing to think about, but there's really no reason to research anything further at this point. We'll see what happens when she comes out.
There is one other issue to consider.... She probably actually has a greater chance of being born with whiplash than Down's syndrome! Today during the ultrasound, the tech was trying to get a 3-D image of her face, and she kept turning her back on us. I pushed up on my belly from the underside three times, and what we saw on the screen was HILARIOUS! Her head was thrown back and forth three times just like she had just been through a car wreck and they were replaying it in slow motion over and over again. She looked like a crash test dummy! We all cracked up laughing! I wish we had it on video! Praise God for allowing these babies to grow in a safe environment where they're protected from crazy moms! :)
Anyway, she's growing well, everything looks normal (even the echogenic foci is often considered a "normal" condition in that it shows up fairly regularly in healthy babies), there's just the right amount of amniotic fluid in there with her which is a sign of a healthy baby, and she's moving around plenty! At one point, she yawned really big, which was pretty funny. I started thinking though. Isn't it crazy how God designs for babies to develop in this strange fluid, breathing it in, swallowing it, and moving around in it... and if they come out too early, they can't breathe air well and will die? And then, once they're done developing, something happens. They're born, and as soon as they come out, they need to be cleared of all the fluid immediately, because if they're not breathing air, they'll die. In an instant, their means of survival changes to something so completely opposite. It's just wild!
I've included a couple of the ultrasound photos. Her cord was floating in front of her face, so we couldn't get a complete 3-D shot of her face... but there's definitely enough that you can see her pretty well. Keep in mind, of course, that things are a little bit distorted because of the fluid she's living in and because she's still got a lot of skin to grow into, so she's not likely to actually come out with a wrinkled face and droopy cheeks!
I have a whole list of things that I'm wanting to write updates about, but for now I'm going to call it a night. I'm planning to wake up "early" (which for me will be about 7am) to go to a used homeschooling book sale tomorrow. I've identified the curriculum I'd like to use with Ladan this next year, and I'm hoping I can find a good deal on at least a couple of the items. We'll see how it goes!
Friday, March 20, 2009
Getting Settled
Well, we made the big move last Friday. Before we left, I was able to have a couple of girls' night outings with some of my best friends, high school age and older. My friend Jessica and I got to pretend we were college students one night when we went to Denny's at 11pm and came home at about 2:30am. Of course, the fact that we were two pregnant ladies sitting in the corner booth probably gave away the fact that we're a little older than 22! :) Ladan and Gabe did get to play with some of their friends a couple of times for extended periods of time during their last week in Louisville. I was very thankful for that as well.
We had SO MANY friends help us pack, load up, and clean in Louisville, and we had plenty of help once we arrived in Champaign-Urbana. Talk about a relief! We rented from the sellers here for a week and closed today. So now we're officially homeowners... or at least the owners of a hefty loan that tells us the home will really be ours when we're finished paying the bank a ridiculous amount of money! As long as the government recognizes us as homeowners when it comes time for tax returns/credits, we'll take it! We're definitely thankful to have this part of the process all finished.
We've met several neighbors, some with kids and some without. There are LOADS of kids in our neighborhood, which will be a great way to find friends for the boys and a great way to meet the adults! The other folks who don't have kids all seem to have pretty great gardens and/or homemade composters, so as I attempt to plant a few things myself and compost yardwaste, I'll have a good reason to talk to them and get lots of tips. There are also people from many different countries and backgrounds living in our neighborhood. For example, Chet met the man who lives across the street. He's from Bangladesh. All of the houses are pretty close together, which makes for easy opportunities to meet people. There's also a small neighborhood park at the end of the block. Chet and the boys met a mom and her two children (9 and 3) the other day at the park. She's in the process of a divorce and is staying with her parents who live a couple blocks down our road. Our neighbor his a strong Christian who works for a mercy ministry in town as a financial advisor for people who are struggling to make ends meet. And the people behind us are a chemistry professor at the university and a lawyer. It's really great to be in a place where there are so many different people! We're excited to see who we run into once spring and summer really start in full force and people are outside even more than they are now!
I was able to get signed up for health insurance and scheduled my ultrasound and doctor appointment. Also this week, we hooked up the internet, started our trash and recycling services, met with some folks, unpacked a lot, took a couple trips to Menard's and other stores to purchase necessary household items, went to church at Twin City Bible Church to visit and see what's it's like (it's one of the churches in town with the largest student populations), talked to some neighbors, let the boys play outside some, and located various necessary businesses/stores around town. Chet applied for jobs at a few places and will hopefully hear more on Monday. We're really praying hard that it will work out for him to get a job at the Starbucks right by campus. We'll let you know more about that when we find out.
We moved Gabe into his big boy bed a couple of days ago. We started with naptime and had a pretty hilarious experience. The boys are sharing a bedroom now, and both have bed tents on top of their beds. We got Gabe all settled into his tent and closed the zippered parts. There is a flap door that is held on with just a couple of velcro strips, so he can get out if he wants to. And of course, he wanted to. He had to be corrected a couple of times for escaping. After about the second or third time, Chet decided to sit in the room with him to see if he was getting up. Since Gabe was in the tent, he had no idea Chet was still in the room. Chet said he popped out through the tent flap, looked up and saw Chet, and DOVE right back in through the tent opening. Of course, he had to be corrected again. At this point, he stayed in his bed, but he kept using his tiny little toes to lift the tent flap just high enough to look out and see if Chet was still there. Can you just imagine his tiny little face with his big eyes peeking out of that? Chet had a hard time not cracking up at him! He's a smart kid, that's for sure. After Chet warned him again not to try getting out again, he finally got it and went to sleep.
I had suspected that we'd deal with this sort of misbehavior from him repeatedly for days on end... but we've only had to correct him just a few times for getting out of his bed. It's been AWESOME! I'm so thankful! Whenever he gets out of his bed, his brother is right there to call for us through the monitor and tell on him. Not that I want to encourage tattling, but in this case, I don't complain when Ladan volunteers the information.
I thought the bed tent would help, but I wasn't sure it would be this great. It helps both the boys not to be distracted by one another while they're trying to go to sleep, and it gives Gabe a boundary, which is very helpful. I think these tents are probably the smartest Christmas gifts we've bought the boys so far! The boys love them, they're practical, and they preserve our parental sanity. Perfect!
At some point during the first or second day here, I overheard Ladan talking to Chet. It went something like this:
At various points he's wanted to move back to Louisville, and then sometimes he really enjoys our new home. When he talks about these things, we try to explain that he'll likely have these different feelings for a little while. He's very anxious for his friends to come to town. He keeps asking when Maddie, Asa, Harper and Addison are coming to our house. He doesn't really understand the timeline very well, and since there is no official timeline for the other families to arrive here, I can't explain it very well either. He's also regularly talking about his other friends from Louisville telling me about things he remembers and things he enjoyed with them. There are some boys his age just a few houses up the street who we met the other day, which will help but won't take the place of his friends.
Honestly, I am so thankful that Ladan misses his friends. A year and a half ago he wasn't super close to his friends and was really just as content to play by himself. I think it's a great sign that he's opening himself up a bit and is loving people around him enough to care when one or the other is not around anymore. It also gives me great confidence that he can meet good friends here.
Finally, our temporary housemate, Kayla, will move in tomorrow. We have her room all cleaned out for her. I have a few other things I'd like to get in order before she gets here, but we'll see how that shakes out. The biggest things are done. We're excited that she's going to be able to stay with us for a while as she transitions as well.
I'm sure I'm missing a million things, but that's always the case. I'll try to upload some photos as soon as I locate the card reader. We have much to be thankful for, particularly for those of you who have helped us in practical/physical ways and for those of you who are praying for us!
We had SO MANY friends help us pack, load up, and clean in Louisville, and we had plenty of help once we arrived in Champaign-Urbana. Talk about a relief! We rented from the sellers here for a week and closed today. So now we're officially homeowners... or at least the owners of a hefty loan that tells us the home will really be ours when we're finished paying the bank a ridiculous amount of money! As long as the government recognizes us as homeowners when it comes time for tax returns/credits, we'll take it! We're definitely thankful to have this part of the process all finished.
We've met several neighbors, some with kids and some without. There are LOADS of kids in our neighborhood, which will be a great way to find friends for the boys and a great way to meet the adults! The other folks who don't have kids all seem to have pretty great gardens and/or homemade composters, so as I attempt to plant a few things myself and compost yardwaste, I'll have a good reason to talk to them and get lots of tips. There are also people from many different countries and backgrounds living in our neighborhood. For example, Chet met the man who lives across the street. He's from Bangladesh. All of the houses are pretty close together, which makes for easy opportunities to meet people. There's also a small neighborhood park at the end of the block. Chet and the boys met a mom and her two children (9 and 3) the other day at the park. She's in the process of a divorce and is staying with her parents who live a couple blocks down our road. Our neighbor his a strong Christian who works for a mercy ministry in town as a financial advisor for people who are struggling to make ends meet. And the people behind us are a chemistry professor at the university and a lawyer. It's really great to be in a place where there are so many different people! We're excited to see who we run into once spring and summer really start in full force and people are outside even more than they are now!
I was able to get signed up for health insurance and scheduled my ultrasound and doctor appointment. Also this week, we hooked up the internet, started our trash and recycling services, met with some folks, unpacked a lot, took a couple trips to Menard's and other stores to purchase necessary household items, went to church at Twin City Bible Church to visit and see what's it's like (it's one of the churches in town with the largest student populations), talked to some neighbors, let the boys play outside some, and located various necessary businesses/stores around town. Chet applied for jobs at a few places and will hopefully hear more on Monday. We're really praying hard that it will work out for him to get a job at the Starbucks right by campus. We'll let you know more about that when we find out.
We moved Gabe into his big boy bed a couple of days ago. We started with naptime and had a pretty hilarious experience. The boys are sharing a bedroom now, and both have bed tents on top of their beds. We got Gabe all settled into his tent and closed the zippered parts. There is a flap door that is held on with just a couple of velcro strips, so he can get out if he wants to. And of course, he wanted to. He had to be corrected a couple of times for escaping. After about the second or third time, Chet decided to sit in the room with him to see if he was getting up. Since Gabe was in the tent, he had no idea Chet was still in the room. Chet said he popped out through the tent flap, looked up and saw Chet, and DOVE right back in through the tent opening. Of course, he had to be corrected again. At this point, he stayed in his bed, but he kept using his tiny little toes to lift the tent flap just high enough to look out and see if Chet was still there. Can you just imagine his tiny little face with his big eyes peeking out of that? Chet had a hard time not cracking up at him! He's a smart kid, that's for sure. After Chet warned him again not to try getting out again, he finally got it and went to sleep.
I had suspected that we'd deal with this sort of misbehavior from him repeatedly for days on end... but we've only had to correct him just a few times for getting out of his bed. It's been AWESOME! I'm so thankful! Whenever he gets out of his bed, his brother is right there to call for us through the monitor and tell on him. Not that I want to encourage tattling, but in this case, I don't complain when Ladan volunteers the information.
I thought the bed tent would help, but I wasn't sure it would be this great. It helps both the boys not to be distracted by one another while they're trying to go to sleep, and it gives Gabe a boundary, which is very helpful. I think these tents are probably the smartest Christmas gifts we've bought the boys so far! The boys love them, they're practical, and they preserve our parental sanity. Perfect!
At some point during the first or second day here, I overheard Ladan talking to Chet. It went something like this:
Ladan: "Dad, this is our house! We get to live here!"
Chet: "That's right, Buddy. This is our house."
Ladan: "We have soft floors here!" (Falls down on the floor on purpose, which he would never do on harder floors for fear of hurting himself) "Look, Dad, we have soft floors!" (Stands up clapping) "I'm clapping because I'm so happy!"
At various points he's wanted to move back to Louisville, and then sometimes he really enjoys our new home. When he talks about these things, we try to explain that he'll likely have these different feelings for a little while. He's very anxious for his friends to come to town. He keeps asking when Maddie, Asa, Harper and Addison are coming to our house. He doesn't really understand the timeline very well, and since there is no official timeline for the other families to arrive here, I can't explain it very well either. He's also regularly talking about his other friends from Louisville telling me about things he remembers and things he enjoyed with them. There are some boys his age just a few houses up the street who we met the other day, which will help but won't take the place of his friends.
Honestly, I am so thankful that Ladan misses his friends. A year and a half ago he wasn't super close to his friends and was really just as content to play by himself. I think it's a great sign that he's opening himself up a bit and is loving people around him enough to care when one or the other is not around anymore. It also gives me great confidence that he can meet good friends here.
Finally, our temporary housemate, Kayla, will move in tomorrow. We have her room all cleaned out for her. I have a few other things I'd like to get in order before she gets here, but we'll see how that shakes out. The biggest things are done. We're excited that she's going to be able to stay with us for a while as she transitions as well.
I'm sure I'm missing a million things, but that's always the case. I'll try to upload some photos as soon as I locate the card reader. We have much to be thankful for, particularly for those of you who have helped us in practical/physical ways and for those of you who are praying for us!
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Man vs. Woman -- No One Wins In This Competition
I was just sitting down to take a quick break from packing, and I thought I'd check my e-mail. I get the daily feed from the Desiring God blog, a ministry of Bethlehem Baptist Church in Minneapolis, MN. One of today's entries titled "Over My Dead Body, Son" was written by John Piper. In response to the fact that a girl is going to the MN state wrestling championship for the first time, Piper provides an excellent call to those of us parenting boys (and particularly to the dads of boys) to help our sons think and act in a God-honoring fashion, specifically in the sports arena. After all, it can be a training ground for all of life. Here are a couple of excerpts, but you MUST check out the entire entry here:
"Come on, dads, have some courage. Just say, 'Over my dead body are you going to wrestle a girl.' Of course, they will call you prudish. But everything in you knows better.... Give your sons a bigger nobler vision of what it is to be a man. Men don't fight against women. They fight for women....
... This is not about courageous commitment to equality; it's about wimpy fear of criticism for doing what our hearts know is right.
... we should raise sons to think of themselves as protectors. Tell them they should lay their lives down to protect girls. Help them know that God designed them to grow up to be a picture of Jesus in their marriage. Nurture the instinct of a boy to fight for girls not against them."
For us, this training has started at the toddler stage. The boys are simply not allowed to wrestle or tackle girls. And even when they play football with me, we're helping them learn the difference between playing gently with Mommy and getting to go all out with Daddy. When we wrestle or tackle, they know they need to be gentle because I'm a girl... and because they're protecting the tiny baby growing inside me. And even then, we tell them over and over again that they cannot for any reason tackle or wrestle with another girl. Hopefully it sticks.
When I was in high school, there was a girl wrestler at one of the other schools in our district... and she was really good! I can't remember if she made it state, but she made it very far, that's for sure. Piper is definitely right to talk about how we can train our boys to care for and protect girls, but as a female myself, I think there is also something to our role in not trying to defeat the men around us. Talk about setting these guys up for total humiliation! Any guy who got beat by this girl was completely embarrassed to even walk through the halls of his school.
As women, there will be plenty of "manly" things at which we may excel... but it doesn't mean that we have to exercise all of those gifts in a competitive way. After all, if we do this, we're in danger of squashing the God-given desire of the men around us to love and cherish us, to honor and protect us. OF COURSE this does not mean that we are incapable of taking care of ourselves sometimes or that we have nothing to contribute to the world around us or that we can NEVER play a game of basketball or soccer against men/boys.
However, there is a certain way to handle ourselves as we enjoy these activities without crushing the men around us. For example, before my c-sections, I used to be able to hold Chet in my arms (under his back and legs) and swing him in circles. I could have flung him across the room I guess, but that wasn't the point. It was just fun, and we both thought it was fairly hilarious seeing as how he was at least 80 pounds heavier and 7 inches taller than me. I would have crossed the line if I had swung him around, flopped him down on the ground, pinned him to the floor, stood over him shouting in victory, and then told all my friends and the newspaper about how weak my husband was compared to me. Visualizing that picture makes me laugh in one sense because it's so ridiculous. But in reality, if I was actually capable of doing this and really carried it through with a heart to defeat this man, can you imagine what that would do to destroy our relationship and his ability to adopt his God-given role as leader of our home?
I definitely think it is fair to say that a woman should never try to wrestle or box or otherwise beat up a man with a heart of competition in any situation outside of protecting herself against an attacker. So, parents of girls, I guess that's my encouragement to you. Don't let your daughters manhandle the guys around them. Help them learn to respect and honor men, and help them learn to receive love and care from the men around them. This is honoring to the God who created us, and it is a real picture of the interaction between Christ and His bride, the church.
Now, back to packing!
"Come on, dads, have some courage. Just say, 'Over my dead body are you going to wrestle a girl.' Of course, they will call you prudish. But everything in you knows better.... Give your sons a bigger nobler vision of what it is to be a man. Men don't fight against women. They fight for women....
... This is not about courageous commitment to equality; it's about wimpy fear of criticism for doing what our hearts know is right.
... we should raise sons to think of themselves as protectors. Tell them they should lay their lives down to protect girls. Help them know that God designed them to grow up to be a picture of Jesus in their marriage. Nurture the instinct of a boy to fight for girls not against them."
For us, this training has started at the toddler stage. The boys are simply not allowed to wrestle or tackle girls. And even when they play football with me, we're helping them learn the difference between playing gently with Mommy and getting to go all out with Daddy. When we wrestle or tackle, they know they need to be gentle because I'm a girl... and because they're protecting the tiny baby growing inside me. And even then, we tell them over and over again that they cannot for any reason tackle or wrestle with another girl. Hopefully it sticks.
When I was in high school, there was a girl wrestler at one of the other schools in our district... and she was really good! I can't remember if she made it state, but she made it very far, that's for sure. Piper is definitely right to talk about how we can train our boys to care for and protect girls, but as a female myself, I think there is also something to our role in not trying to defeat the men around us. Talk about setting these guys up for total humiliation! Any guy who got beat by this girl was completely embarrassed to even walk through the halls of his school.
As women, there will be plenty of "manly" things at which we may excel... but it doesn't mean that we have to exercise all of those gifts in a competitive way. After all, if we do this, we're in danger of squashing the God-given desire of the men around us to love and cherish us, to honor and protect us. OF COURSE this does not mean that we are incapable of taking care of ourselves sometimes or that we have nothing to contribute to the world around us or that we can NEVER play a game of basketball or soccer against men/boys.
However, there is a certain way to handle ourselves as we enjoy these activities without crushing the men around us. For example, before my c-sections, I used to be able to hold Chet in my arms (under his back and legs) and swing him in circles. I could have flung him across the room I guess, but that wasn't the point. It was just fun, and we both thought it was fairly hilarious seeing as how he was at least 80 pounds heavier and 7 inches taller than me. I would have crossed the line if I had swung him around, flopped him down on the ground, pinned him to the floor, stood over him shouting in victory, and then told all my friends and the newspaper about how weak my husband was compared to me. Visualizing that picture makes me laugh in one sense because it's so ridiculous. But in reality, if I was actually capable of doing this and really carried it through with a heart to defeat this man, can you imagine what that would do to destroy our relationship and his ability to adopt his God-given role as leader of our home?
I definitely think it is fair to say that a woman should never try to wrestle or box or otherwise beat up a man with a heart of competition in any situation outside of protecting herself against an attacker. So, parents of girls, I guess that's my encouragement to you. Don't let your daughters manhandle the guys around them. Help them learn to respect and honor men, and help them learn to receive love and care from the men around them. This is honoring to the God who created us, and it is a real picture of the interaction between Christ and His bride, the church.
Now, back to packing!
Friday, February 27, 2009
Transition Time
We're still waiting to hear from our lender if our closing date on the new house is March 13, but so far as the realtor knows, that's what we're still shooting for. So we've reserved the truck, and we'll just change it if we have to. I'll be thankful to know for sure what we're looking at as a closing date... and at the same time, part of me will want to have a heart attack because it's all coming up already! :)
Saturday night some of our good friends are having a going away party for us and the Prestons. It's a little bit strange to think about the fact that, in just a few weeks, we won't be seeing all these people every week or more. There are SO MANY people we will miss terribly! While it's very sad, on a different level, the fact that we literally have hundreds of friends with whom we've connected in less than four years is an AMAZING blessing from the Lord! I cannot even imagine what our lives would have been like without our church family here! There is also a certain level of comfort that comes from knowing that our time on earth is short compared to the eternity we get to spend in heaven with these brothers and sisters in Christ!
Quite honestly, I think I would be crying every day if I wasn't so sure that we are indeed following the Lord's call on our lives and if we didn't have such a great team to labor and share life with as we plant this church.
Ladan has started clinging to his friends even more over the last few weeks. He does well with transition in most cases, but he's definitely going to miss his friends and his teachers at church. It's sad for me to see him have to leave his friends. The great thing is that he will likely be the one telling me that everything is okay! I would like to try as hard as I can to get the boys together with at least a few of their friends for a fun play time before we go... a time when it's focused on THEM having fun (as opposed to them having to be "quiet and controlled" while the adults get to have fun). Now we just need to pray for a decent weather day so we can give them some room to run!
As I've been packing and sorting through things, I've gotten rid of some of the boys' things. Before I get rid of each item, I let Ladan know what I'm doing and why we're getting rid of that particular item. Today, I was throwing away this random project he made one day, and when I told him what I was doing, he asked what was wrong with it. He asked if it was dirty. I told him it wasn't dirty but that we just needed to get rid of it. He suggested that I get rid of part and save the other part. I explained that it wasn't really going to work that way, and he quickly and happily agreed, "Oh, well, that's fine. Just throw it in the trash." I mean, seriously, he's awesome! It's like he just appreciates knowing what's going on and why, and that's all he needs. I'm not taking it for granted, that's for sure! He is LOVING the process of packing and is a great help to me! He brings me boxes, hands me things that are out of my reach to put in the boxes, gets me the tape/marker, and gives me a high five or a huge hug every time we get another box packed and closed.
Gabe has been really great too. He is clearly addicted to the movie, Cars. I know my two-year-old should not be addicted to a movie, but if you were moving and could see the way his face lights up every single time he gets to see it, you might not argue about it too much either. He has memorized many parts of the movie and recites them before they're coming up. He also plays with his cars at other times of the day and acts out scenes from the movie. Speaking of reciting movie lines, one of his favorite things to do is recite the entire Ring of Fire scene from Finding Nemo with Chet. It's hilarious, and I MUST get it on video!
When he wakes up in the morning, he plays quietly in his bed for a few minutes. As soon as I open the door, he jumps up and down in his bed and screams, "Mom!" Then immediately says, "Change diaper." While we're working on that, he says, "I wanna eat oh-mee-oh an miwk" (oatmeal and milk). And while we're working on getting that ready, he says with great excitement, "I wanna watch a voovie" (movie). He's still learning what it means when I say that we can do that later. As soon as he hears me say "We can do that...", he starts cheering and jumping up and down. And then when he's sitting there eating and I'm still not turning on the movie, he's emotionally destroyed and starts crying. Thankfully he gets over it quickly. I'm trying to balance being patient--considering that he's still learning the meaning of somewhat abstract concepts--with training him not to argue and complain when he doesn't get what he wants.
He has started saying, "I wuw [love] you, Mom!" more often and has been giving the best hugs lately. He squeezes his arms around me and pats me on the back. He's a cutie, that's for sure! These kids are fantastic!
My belly is growing at a much faster rate than it did with the previous two, but I'm gaining weight a bit more slowly. I ordered a new pair of maternity yoga pants when they were on sale last week, and they came the other day. I'm fairly certain that I'll be living in these pants for the next few months. They're AWESOME!
Chet and I took a break the other night to watch Fireproof. It was really an excellent movie--very encouraging! The bonus features were definitely worth watching too.
How's that for another random assortment of thoughts and updates? I'm sure my posts will resemble this pattern for the next little bit.
Saturday night some of our good friends are having a going away party for us and the Prestons. It's a little bit strange to think about the fact that, in just a few weeks, we won't be seeing all these people every week or more. There are SO MANY people we will miss terribly! While it's very sad, on a different level, the fact that we literally have hundreds of friends with whom we've connected in less than four years is an AMAZING blessing from the Lord! I cannot even imagine what our lives would have been like without our church family here! There is also a certain level of comfort that comes from knowing that our time on earth is short compared to the eternity we get to spend in heaven with these brothers and sisters in Christ!
Quite honestly, I think I would be crying every day if I wasn't so sure that we are indeed following the Lord's call on our lives and if we didn't have such a great team to labor and share life with as we plant this church.
Ladan has started clinging to his friends even more over the last few weeks. He does well with transition in most cases, but he's definitely going to miss his friends and his teachers at church. It's sad for me to see him have to leave his friends. The great thing is that he will likely be the one telling me that everything is okay! I would like to try as hard as I can to get the boys together with at least a few of their friends for a fun play time before we go... a time when it's focused on THEM having fun (as opposed to them having to be "quiet and controlled" while the adults get to have fun). Now we just need to pray for a decent weather day so we can give them some room to run!
As I've been packing and sorting through things, I've gotten rid of some of the boys' things. Before I get rid of each item, I let Ladan know what I'm doing and why we're getting rid of that particular item. Today, I was throwing away this random project he made one day, and when I told him what I was doing, he asked what was wrong with it. He asked if it was dirty. I told him it wasn't dirty but that we just needed to get rid of it. He suggested that I get rid of part and save the other part. I explained that it wasn't really going to work that way, and he quickly and happily agreed, "Oh, well, that's fine. Just throw it in the trash." I mean, seriously, he's awesome! It's like he just appreciates knowing what's going on and why, and that's all he needs. I'm not taking it for granted, that's for sure! He is LOVING the process of packing and is a great help to me! He brings me boxes, hands me things that are out of my reach to put in the boxes, gets me the tape/marker, and gives me a high five or a huge hug every time we get another box packed and closed.
Gabe has been really great too. He is clearly addicted to the movie, Cars. I know my two-year-old should not be addicted to a movie, but if you were moving and could see the way his face lights up every single time he gets to see it, you might not argue about it too much either. He has memorized many parts of the movie and recites them before they're coming up. He also plays with his cars at other times of the day and acts out scenes from the movie. Speaking of reciting movie lines, one of his favorite things to do is recite the entire Ring of Fire scene from Finding Nemo with Chet. It's hilarious, and I MUST get it on video!
When he wakes up in the morning, he plays quietly in his bed for a few minutes. As soon as I open the door, he jumps up and down in his bed and screams, "Mom!" Then immediately says, "Change diaper." While we're working on that, he says, "I wanna eat oh-mee-oh an miwk" (oatmeal and milk). And while we're working on getting that ready, he says with great excitement, "I wanna watch a voovie" (movie). He's still learning what it means when I say that we can do that later. As soon as he hears me say "We can do that...", he starts cheering and jumping up and down. And then when he's sitting there eating and I'm still not turning on the movie, he's emotionally destroyed and starts crying. Thankfully he gets over it quickly. I'm trying to balance being patient--considering that he's still learning the meaning of somewhat abstract concepts--with training him not to argue and complain when he doesn't get what he wants.
He has started saying, "I wuw [love] you, Mom!" more often and has been giving the best hugs lately. He squeezes his arms around me and pats me on the back. He's a cutie, that's for sure! These kids are fantastic!
My belly is growing at a much faster rate than it did with the previous two, but I'm gaining weight a bit more slowly. I ordered a new pair of maternity yoga pants when they were on sale last week, and they came the other day. I'm fairly certain that I'll be living in these pants for the next few months. They're AWESOME!
Chet and I took a break the other night to watch Fireproof. It was really an excellent movie--very encouraging! The bonus features were definitely worth watching too.
How's that for another random assortment of thoughts and updates? I'm sure my posts will resemble this pattern for the next little bit.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Short Snip-its of Life
Okay, over the last few weeks, I have had about a million random thoughts, and quite a few things have happened. Here is an effort to bring you up to speed without taking an hour to get it all down. This list will be in no particular order of events or thoughts, because that's not how my brain is operating right now. So here's a glimpse into my head...
We are buying a house in Champaign-Urbana, IL so we can move hopefully within the next several weeks.
There's a lot to do in the next several weeks.
I have a hard time considering leaving some of my best friends in the whole world behind. But I'm thankful for the phone and internet and cars that get good gas mileage.
I'm going to miss taking long showers and not running out of hot water ever. I think that's the only thing I can think of right now that I'll miss about this apartment in particular.
I'm excited that the only footsteps I'll hear overhead are from people I have let into my own home.
I'm also excited that I won't have to hear the same song being played repeatedly (did I say REPEATEDLY?) on another person's piano at strange hours when it's not very convenient.
I'm looking forward to being in a place where the ground is flat enough that I can see the sunset on a more regular basis.
I'm going to miss going to the river and just sitting there to collect my thoughts. I'm sure there will be some other place I can find to do this kind of activity.
My belly is becoming larger by the day! I was hoping to hold off on getting the maternity clothes out of storage before we move, but I'm thinking it's not going to be possible. I am thankful I can still wear my regular jeans (not even my size larger regular jeans), but I'm thinking that's going to end very quickly.
It's going to be great to have Chet home at night and awake during the day. However, it's going to be a bit of a transition for me not to have my couple of hours every night when the boys are asleep and he's gone at work to get my own stuff done in peace and quiet.
Times like moving make me miss my dad more than normal. He helped me/us move several times. He was a workhorse and would get the job done well and efficiently. He never got mad at me for doing something that didn't make sense (like putting a box down right in the middle of the walking path), but he did make plenty of jokes about it! When I asked him to do something, he'd always say in his monotone voice, "Yes, dear," and tried to communicate to Chet that this was a helpful thing to say. I wish my dad could help us move into our first house and that he could see the boys get really excited about their new basement, back yard, and bedroom. I wish he had been able to meet the boys in the first place. He'd be really excited for us, I'm sure... that is, if "excited" is the right word to describe my dad at any point! The Lord knows best. I think Dad would for sure be proud to know that we used the money he left us to get through seminary and that we're starting a new adventure without any debt (aside from that massive home loan we're taking on, anyway).
I finished a book called Always Too Soon to Quit by Nancy Bramlett last week. It was good. It was also nice to finish a book.
I need some time to shape my eyebrows. I feel like they're taking over my forehead. I'm thankful I don't have a unibrow, or I'd be in trouble.
I love my family. I'm really proud of Chet. Ladan is getting huge (he's grown another 2 inches and gained 5 pounds in the last few months) and is so smart and thoughtful. Gabe is still tiny, and I'll be glad when his cuteness factor wears off a little bit more so I'm not constantly second-guessing myself when I'm giving him direction or training him.
I'm very THANKFUL that Amber (my sister-in-law) learned that kids like Titus (my nephew) and Gabe who are super-active often have skin issues because their bodies use up all of their vitamins when they're running around and they have nothing left for basic health. They apparently also need extra omega-3's. So we put Gabe on an immune booster and an omega-3 supplement on top of his Flintstones, and within 2 weeks, ALL of his eczema and weird wart things were TOTALLY gone!
Gabe then got a bacterial skin infection somehow. He had to be put on his first antibiotic (well, if we wanted him to be able to be around other kids instead of stuck at home for 2-3 weeks). It's been 3 weeks, and it's almost all completely faded. Within the next week, he should be back to that baby-soft skin kids are supposed to have... as opposed to alligator- or snake-like skin.
I get very irritated that the Sports Illustrated swim suit issue is displayed at the check-out counter without the paper "modesty" cover it used to have. For the next month at least, please beware. It's everywhere! And it's not at all helpful for any person to see it.
Thanks to Judy, I got my chocolate-covered strawberries last weekend!!!!! Excellent treat!
We had a great time serving dinner at the Ronald McDonald House with our small group a couple weeks ago. If you've never done it, you should give it a shot. If you have done it, you should do it again. Good times!
I don't really like that my dreams seem to get crazier and more vivid when I'm pregnant. I could really do without that. It kind of freaks me out.
I've had fun figuring and refiguring our finances during the last few months. Excel spreadsheets are my friend. (FYI--I know that last sentence isn't grammatically correct.)
I've had the incredible urge to ride in some sort of topless vehicle (convertible, jeep, whatever) with the radio turned up... singing loudly with my friends. Monster ballads would be fun!
For some strange reason, I kind of want to watch the Oscars this year... even though I honestly haven't even heard of at least 60% of the movies, and I think I've only seen two of them on the entire list of nominated films. And I probably would get annoyed with it anyway. I just always think it's fun to see someone be recognized for hard work, especially work that I am not cut out for at all.
I'm thankful for the group of people who is committed to our church plant in Illinois. So far we have 12 adults and 8 kids (soon to be 10 kids). It seems like we'll be a good team!
I'm 15 weeks pregnant and feel MUCH better now that I'm out of my first trimester. My gall bladder is even behaving. Sure makes moving and doing all of these other things more reasonable!
This is nowhere near a million thoughts, but you can get a picture of life around here for the last little bit. We'll keep you posted!
We are buying a house in Champaign-Urbana, IL so we can move hopefully within the next several weeks.
There's a lot to do in the next several weeks.
I have a hard time considering leaving some of my best friends in the whole world behind. But I'm thankful for the phone and internet and cars that get good gas mileage.
I'm going to miss taking long showers and not running out of hot water ever. I think that's the only thing I can think of right now that I'll miss about this apartment in particular.
I'm excited that the only footsteps I'll hear overhead are from people I have let into my own home.
I'm also excited that I won't have to hear the same song being played repeatedly (did I say REPEATEDLY?) on another person's piano at strange hours when it's not very convenient.
I'm looking forward to being in a place where the ground is flat enough that I can see the sunset on a more regular basis.
I'm going to miss going to the river and just sitting there to collect my thoughts. I'm sure there will be some other place I can find to do this kind of activity.
My belly is becoming larger by the day! I was hoping to hold off on getting the maternity clothes out of storage before we move, but I'm thinking it's not going to be possible. I am thankful I can still wear my regular jeans (not even my size larger regular jeans), but I'm thinking that's going to end very quickly.
It's going to be great to have Chet home at night and awake during the day. However, it's going to be a bit of a transition for me not to have my couple of hours every night when the boys are asleep and he's gone at work to get my own stuff done in peace and quiet.
Times like moving make me miss my dad more than normal. He helped me/us move several times. He was a workhorse and would get the job done well and efficiently. He never got mad at me for doing something that didn't make sense (like putting a box down right in the middle of the walking path), but he did make plenty of jokes about it! When I asked him to do something, he'd always say in his monotone voice, "Yes, dear," and tried to communicate to Chet that this was a helpful thing to say. I wish my dad could help us move into our first house and that he could see the boys get really excited about their new basement, back yard, and bedroom. I wish he had been able to meet the boys in the first place. He'd be really excited for us, I'm sure... that is, if "excited" is the right word to describe my dad at any point! The Lord knows best. I think Dad would for sure be proud to know that we used the money he left us to get through seminary and that we're starting a new adventure without any debt (aside from that massive home loan we're taking on, anyway).
I finished a book called Always Too Soon to Quit by Nancy Bramlett last week. It was good. It was also nice to finish a book.
I need some time to shape my eyebrows. I feel like they're taking over my forehead. I'm thankful I don't have a unibrow, or I'd be in trouble.
I love my family. I'm really proud of Chet. Ladan is getting huge (he's grown another 2 inches and gained 5 pounds in the last few months) and is so smart and thoughtful. Gabe is still tiny, and I'll be glad when his cuteness factor wears off a little bit more so I'm not constantly second-guessing myself when I'm giving him direction or training him.
I'm very THANKFUL that Amber (my sister-in-law) learned that kids like Titus (my nephew) and Gabe who are super-active often have skin issues because their bodies use up all of their vitamins when they're running around and they have nothing left for basic health. They apparently also need extra omega-3's. So we put Gabe on an immune booster and an omega-3 supplement on top of his Flintstones, and within 2 weeks, ALL of his eczema and weird wart things were TOTALLY gone!
Gabe then got a bacterial skin infection somehow. He had to be put on his first antibiotic (well, if we wanted him to be able to be around other kids instead of stuck at home for 2-3 weeks). It's been 3 weeks, and it's almost all completely faded. Within the next week, he should be back to that baby-soft skin kids are supposed to have... as opposed to alligator- or snake-like skin.
I get very irritated that the Sports Illustrated swim suit issue is displayed at the check-out counter without the paper "modesty" cover it used to have. For the next month at least, please beware. It's everywhere! And it's not at all helpful for any person to see it.
Thanks to Judy, I got my chocolate-covered strawberries last weekend!!!!! Excellent treat!
We had a great time serving dinner at the Ronald McDonald House with our small group a couple weeks ago. If you've never done it, you should give it a shot. If you have done it, you should do it again. Good times!
I don't really like that my dreams seem to get crazier and more vivid when I'm pregnant. I could really do without that. It kind of freaks me out.
I've had fun figuring and refiguring our finances during the last few months. Excel spreadsheets are my friend. (FYI--I know that last sentence isn't grammatically correct.)
I've had the incredible urge to ride in some sort of topless vehicle (convertible, jeep, whatever) with the radio turned up... singing loudly with my friends. Monster ballads would be fun!
For some strange reason, I kind of want to watch the Oscars this year... even though I honestly haven't even heard of at least 60% of the movies, and I think I've only seen two of them on the entire list of nominated films. And I probably would get annoyed with it anyway. I just always think it's fun to see someone be recognized for hard work, especially work that I am not cut out for at all.
I'm thankful for the group of people who is committed to our church plant in Illinois. So far we have 12 adults and 8 kids (soon to be 10 kids). It seems like we'll be a good team!
I'm 15 weeks pregnant and feel MUCH better now that I'm out of my first trimester. My gall bladder is even behaving. Sure makes moving and doing all of these other things more reasonable!
This is nowhere near a million thoughts, but you can get a picture of life around here for the last little bit. We'll keep you posted!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
